If you wanted to see everything that’s wrong with the world rolled into one massively egotistical, clueless human being, then you’ve come to the right place.
First, I want you to watch the video below. Go ahead, try watching the entire thing:
Make it all the way through? Hurt, didn’t it?
The abomination you just saw is actually step 3 in the 4-step program to achieving long-term reality TV fame.
I’ll explain. It usually goes something like this:
- Be a complete train wreck and get on reality TV
- Make an “out of this world” attention grab
First, there was Anna Nicole Smith. Then, Kim Kardashian. And now, you have Farrah Abraham.
The short version of her success goes something like this:
- Knocked up at 16 and cast on MTV’s Teen Mom.
- Leak a porn tape (put call it a “sex tape,” and call the porn star you hired your “ex-boyfriend.”)
- Endorse a shady product. In this case, a raspberry ketone supplement.
Farrah added a few more steps between steps 1 and 2:
- Undergo a truckload of plastic surgery
- “Write” two books (just look at those reviews!)
- Release an album (see below)
- “Date” someone famous
- Show up at every red carpet event that will let you past the red ropes
- Get a DUI (and claim the police mistook your allergy-medicine high on a being-drunk high)
Sadly, this is the Formula for Success
What’s so funny is that it’s all going exactly according to plan. It’s as if Hollywood agents have a freaking blueprint, and she’s following it to the letter.
Case in point: For Farrah, the antics above have amassed a following of nearly 800,000 fans on Twitter and 126,000 friends on Facebook. (ETA: By February 2014, more than 900,000 fans and likes, thanks mostly to her solo appearance on the “couples-only” realty TV show, Couples Therapy.)
And what does that amount to? Influence.
Influence to sell. And sell, she will:
It’s bad enough that this company rewarded her with a huge contract. The worst part (to us) is that more bullshit supplements with absurd science “behind” them (see our Raspberry Ketones research) will be sold, making our industry look even worse than it did yesterday. And on this site, that upsets us.
But it won’t end here – not by a long shot. The next step is likely well on the way:
Next up… REVLON?
But slangin’ raspberry ketones is just the start of Farrah’s rise to “clean” fame. You think I’m kidding, but consider this:
Kim Kardashian, who essentially followed the exact same path, is now being shown “repping” REVLON cosmetics.
You can see it for yourself here and in the image to the right. We’re not sure if she’s truly a spokesmodel for them, but she’s definitely promoting the brand, and these things don’t come for free.
Mind you, this is not “Raspberry Tones.” This is a real-deal, MAJOR brand! Freaking REVLON.
And they’re encouraging a known train wreck with sex tapes (which, unlike Farrah, they’re actual, leaked sex tapes) represent their good name, while simultaneously giving her more respect from her fans.
Why? Well that’s the most saddening part of it all: Because this is what the kids want. This is who they look up to.
So at a time when nobody under the age of 20 is able to read or write anything longer than a 140-character Tweet, this is how to get rich quick, and this is how companies sling their goods.
And that, my readers, deeply saddens me.
Well America, you asked for it, and you got it. So enjoy it.
It’s the new strategy for success, and I promise you that it won’t end well:
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